


Be My Mistake

by Anonymous



Category: Polygon/McElroy Vlogs & Podcasts RPF
Genre: As in Pat and Brian are together despite Brian being in a relationship, Cheating, M/M, Not as in cheating on each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 14:18:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19465741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Pat Gill is definitely going to hell.That’s what runs through his mind as he studies Brian’s back, reaches out and traces an idle pattern on it with the tip of his finger.





	Be My Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first fic i've published in a really, really long time and i'm doing so anonymously. for reasons. mostly because this has information about brian's actual life in it that maybe shouldn't be in fanfics! only references and i mean, i'm already writing rpf so might as well just go all in, but still! if references to brian's ex(?) make u uncomfy, don't read, and i won't judge. 
> 
> i wrote this in an hour, no one else has read it and tbh i didn't even really spend a tons of time editing it. i just had the idea and wanted to get it out on paper. or google docs, as the case may be. 
> 
> title is from the 1975. cool.

Pat knows it’s wrong. 

He’s not stupid. He’s in his thirties, he’s been around the block once or twice by now. He knows better. 

That doesn’t mean he’s in any position to stop himself, though. To stop what he and Brian have going. It probably helps that he’s never met this girl that has been at Brian’s side for years before Pat even knew he existed. He knows her name, has seen pictures, has heard the story of how they met, but has never had to look her in the eye. Never had to introduce himself, keep his distance from Brian and act like he hasn’t seen his face flushed and his hair spread out on Pat’s pillow. 

Maybe it’s easier to justify because she’s not here. He remembers what that separation feels like, how it affects a relationship, how easy it is to forget. How easy it is to have your eyes linger just a little too long on someone new, to get butterflies in your stomach when their fingers brush against yours on accident. How easy it is to fall, even when you’ve got someone waiting for you back home.

He wonders if he had been in Brian’s shoes, if he would have given in so easily. The kid is a romantic, wears a reminder of his girl on his wrist every day, but it only took a few months before Pat got him home. 

He still remembers their first kiss, the way Brian had melted against him, the way that Pat had navigated him back against a wall and gotten a thigh pressed between his legs before they both realized at once that they were at work and that someone could walk into the streaming room at any point and see the pair of them. He hadn’t wanted to pull away, had kept Brian pressed back against the wall a bit longer than necessary, but Brian had just laughed and squirmed loose. 

“Take me home, Pat Gill,” he had said, his smile so bright that his eyes were squinted behind his glasses. 

The memory is a fond one. A repeated one. 

Pat Gill is definitely going to hell. 

That’s what runs through his mind as he studies Brian’s back, reaches out and traces an idle pattern on it with the tip of his finger. Brian’s glasses, two watches, his wallet, a cell phone with a blue case are sitting on Pat’s bedside table. The phone buzzes, an incoming text, and Brian doesn’t even twitch in his sleep. 

Pat is immediately curious. He’s not going to overstep his boundaries and check, he’s not that kinda guy. Brian will check it in the morning. It’s probably just Laura or Jonah, asking where he’s at. He doesn’t sleep at Pat’s often. That hadn’t even been the plan tonight, Brian had just been so exhausted from work that he had started to doze almost immediately after he and Pat got out of the shower. Spending too many nights in Pat’s apartment would be a dead giveaway, and Pat knows Brian’s roommates would do anything for him but even he doesn’t want Brian to deal with the way they’d look at him if they knew. Brian worships the ground they walk on. 

But there’s a chance. There’s always the chance that it’s her on the other end, wanting to hear his voice, wanting to make sure he’s still around miles and miles away. 

Pat should feel worse than he does, knowing that Brian’s mind is elsewhere. That his body is with someone else, with Pat. He should feel terrible that he’s stepping in the middle of a relationship, that he’s the reason that someone is going to wind up hurt. He shouldn’t feel a surge of possessiveness at the thought of leaving a mark on Brian’s skin, knowing that he can get away with it, that she won’t see it. She can’t see it.

Brian isn’t his. That’s been clear from the beginning. Every time a pet name slips out, every time they stay up until three in the morning texting each other from their separate apartments, every time Brian looks at him and bites his lip, Pat has to force himself to remember. 

Maybe that’s how he justifies it to himself. This is terrible, this is a poor decision on both of their parts, this is infidelity and breaking someone’s heart and someone’s trust, but it’s okay because when Pat closes his eyes, there’s only one watch on the nightstand and Laura and Jonah know where Brian is and roll their eyes fondly when Brian talks about his boyfriend and Mrs. Gilbert is inviting him to Thanksgiving for real and Pat is actually going to go. 

Brian shifts in his sleep, Pat’s hand now flat and warm on his back, and Pat is drawn out of his thoughts to focus his attention on the boy beside him. He leans over and presses a lingering kiss to Brian’s shoulder blade, his hair brushing against Brian’s skin, and smiles when Brian lets out a soft sigh.

Pat moves carefully, wraps himself around Brian and closes his eyes. Brian is warm against him, and Pat is content to be in this moment with him. Tomorrow, Brian will wake up and refuse to let Pat kiss him before he brushes his teeth. He’ll laugh and flutter around Pat’s apartment while Pat attempts to cook them breakfast, bothering Charlie the way he always bothers Zuko. He likes sitting on Pat’s lap while they eat, which makes Pat’s life ten times harder, but he’s not great at telling the kid no. That much should be obvious by now.

And then they’ll leave the apartment at different times, Brian on the phone with Jonah telling him that he crashed on Pat’s couch after a late night brainstorming session, and they’ll show up at work, late but separate. It’s how it always happens. They’ve got a pattern down. It’s what works for them right now. 

Brian’s not his, but that doesn’t make nights like this any less worth it. Hell is worth it, if in exchange he gets Brian by his side.


End file.
